THE 101 GUIDE ON HOW TO STOP CARING AND FOCUSING ON YOURSELF

Monisha Devi
7 min readJul 31, 2021
Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash

It’s not as simple as you might believe to learn how to quit caring. Its human nature, yet learning how to care less can be exactly what you need.

Learning how to quit caring may appear weird. We spend our entire lives attempting to do the exact opposite. It is counterintuitive to teach yourself how to be unconcerned.

However, we’ve all met someone who seems to be able to let things roll off their backs with ease. You know the one who doesn’t seem to give a damn. They are simply themselves, with no apologies.

If you are the polar opposite and find it difficult to let go of things, you may need to retrain your brain. And it won’t be simple.

Society, the media, and even our family have taught us to be concerned about what other people think. We want to project a certain image. Caring demonstrates that you are committed, making effort, and desire to impress others.

If you are already a sensitive person, this might be difficult to deal with. It may quickly devolve into a painful way of life. Worrying about what others think of you and whether or not they are judging you keeps you bound.

It’s simple to become socially nervous and neurotic. You must adjust your attitude to stop living in dread and learn how to not care, which is much easier said than done.

Why are you so concerned?

Please bear with me if this appears to be a silly question. Caring is a strength, not a flaw. Let me begin by saying that.

Caring is indeed an evidence of a good heart.

You, on the other hand, carry the world’s flaws with you. This makes you feel heavy. It implies that you raise others while allowing yourself to fall.

For example, you are concerned about your relationship. Even if you split up with someone, you still care for them. It’s not only that you care whether they’re healthy; you also care if they’re in pain and want to help them, even if you don’t want to be around them. You let your concern for others take precedence over your own well-being. That is the root of all the issue.

You disrespect yourself when you allow your concern for others to override your own boundaries. You’re prioritizing the happiness and serenity of others over your own mental health, joy, and peace of mind. You’re taking care of irresponsible individuals, and it’s wearing you down.

But it’s past time for it to come to an end.

How to stop caring?

If you want to learn how to quit caring, you’ll need to make some significant adjustments to your belief system.

Knowing how to not care is about releasing oneself from the continual need to satisfy others and put up infinite effort. It is your life, and you should make the most of it.

That being said, you don’t have to become an indifferent and cruel person who sweeps through life just concerned with oneself. What you’re looking for is a nice balance between caring and not caring too much. And this is how…

1. It isn’t your problem if others pass judgment on you.

When someone says they aren’t judgmental, I always love that. Everybody is a judge. It’s in our nature.

In fact, it’s written right in our DNA. Our natural inclination to classify things leads us to pass judgment on others. It’s a survival technique that helps us evaluate what is or isn’t a threat.

The issue isn’t with judging alone.

Judging without justification is, on the other hand, unethical. This is when we are ripped apart. You feel like trash when people criticize you based on your appearance or style. You want to show them how incorrect they are. However, it is their decision. Their opinions of you have a far greater impact on them than on you.

Whilst putting up the effort to persuade someone to alter their minds, you are giving them control over you, your mind, and your actions. Why should you give them the pleasure of getting under your skin?

2. The majority of people are more preoccupied with themselves.

The most difficult thing for highly sensitive people to comprehend is that most people don’t care about them, at least not to the same degree that they care about others.

The secret to not caring whether you are a sensitive person is to stop assuming that everyone is as kind as you are.

Most individuals are more concerned with themselves than with you. They are concerned with their appearance and how others perceive them. Someone may look at you strangely, but it’s not because they’re criticizing you; it’s because they’re afraid you’re analyzing them.

3. You really aren’t required to be liked by everyone.

You aren’t required to be liked by everyone. Not everyone will, though. It’s difficult to satisfy everyone all the time. People are really diverse. You’ll have to stretch so far that you become several persons to please them all with your appearance and personality.

It makes no difference whether some people dislike you. Well you too don’t like everyone, do you?

4. Focus on yourself

Worrying about you is the best approach to quit caring so much about what others think.

Concentrate on yourself. Take care of yourself. Allow yourself to do what you want without regard for what others may say or think. You could use this time alone and in solitude at first to discover that you deserve to take care of yourself.

5. Know the importance of not caring.

You came searching for this option because there’s something about caring that irritates you. A part of you wishes you could figure out how to quit caring. One excellent approach to do so is to know the importance of not caring.

You will have more freedom than you can fathom. You won’t be burdened down by other people’s remarks or what you think they’re thinking. And you can finally focus on the things that make you happy.

6. Life moves on

Whatever you do, the world continues to revolve around you. That isn’t always a negative thing. It’s actually a positive thing. If you don’t complete a task or disappoint someone, you’ll wake up tomorrow and everything will be OK.

Try to see things from a different perspective. This may assist you in stopping to be so concerned. You aren’t flawless. There isn’t anyone. You may make errors and let things slide through the cracks because you’re human, and whether you live up to the standards you set for yourself or not, tomorrow is always there.

7. Focus solely on the bright side

Not everyone is worth of your time and efforts. The problem is that when someone isn’t deserving, you try even harder. But why is that? There are many individuals in the world and in your life who are deserving of your time, energy, and compassion.

Rather of wasting time seeking acceptance from those who don’t care about you, invest it in those who do. Stop making efforts to change their minds. Concentrate on the individuals who already understand how much you’re worth.

8. Get rid of the bad.

When we spend around with toxic individuals, their negativity immediately rubs off on us. Nothing about them lifts your attitude or self-esteem, whether they’re slamming someone or simply being downright nasty.

Why are they there if they aren’t bringing anything positive to your life?

Even when someone has done nothing except drag you down, it may be difficult to quit caring. Cut these folks out of your life gradually. Or, if you’re brave enough, tell them you think your friendship has run its course because you’re at opposite ends of life. Don’t waste your time with those that deplete you.

9. A troll will always exist.

Some people exist just for the purpose of not liking the most likeable person.

There will even be individuals who detest you because they are envious of how well you are liked by everyone else.

Consider it for a moment. Even the most popular celebrities are subjected to internet trolls whose sole purpose in life is to tear them down.

If you measure your worth by how many people like you, you’ll be dissatisfied and continually wonder what you’re lacking.

In reality, it is their problem, not yours, if someone dislikes you. You know it isn’t your fault if you always strive to be polite and thoughtful of others, yet they still don’t like you.

10. It’s Okay to say No

Stop believing that saying no is a sign of weakness. By prioritizing yourself, you are not disappointing others. Everyone requires time to unwind and pursue their passions.

You can’t please everyone all of the time. It’s critical to allocate your time and energy wisely and with the appropriate individuals.

It’s fine to say no if someone asks you for a favor that doesn’t seem right. Say no if you’re exhausted and can’t go out to hear your coworker complain about her fiancé yet again.

In contrast, if the position were reversed, they would probably not feel guilty about saying no to you. But it isn’t the purpose at all. Stop wasting your time on something you dislike. This isn’t a nasty remark. It’s a form of self-care.

It is strength to care about others. Caring too much for others, on the other hand, invites suffering and worry. With time and patience you will gradually learn how to stop caring and focusing on yourself.

Photo by Javier Allegue Barros on Unsplash

--

--

Monisha Devi

Hi, Its Monisha Here From India, who is new in this platform and wants to write her heart out.